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Are You Selling Yourself Short?

The more you give your time or services away, the less likely you’ll be appreciated.

During dinner at Cracker Barrel not too long ago, my husband David, a programmer and web developer, was telling his father about the deals he was giving his clients. After a while, my father-in-law leaned forward and asked him, “Son, don’t you think you’re selling yourself short?”

 

Yep.

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I will never forget walking into a local boutique with David, who had built up a few hundred dollars’ worth of trade in exchange for his monthly website services. After an hour of picking out and trying on clothes, we went to the front with our finds, and with a sour face, the store owner informed us that she felt like she was giving away her clothes. David explained that he’d been paying for her website’s hosting and that he’d maintained her customized shopping cart in addition to making website updates all year. She rolled her eyes. He added that the cable company charges a monthly fee whether you watch TV or not. She kept acting like we wanted her clothes for free. I stormed out and sat fuming in the car until he came back, empty handed of course. That person had been a client of his for years and knew exactly what the trade agreement had been. She’d been fine with him paying for hosting and updating her website — until he dared ask for compensation.

On another occasion, we took the kids to the restaurant of another long-term client. After we got our food, one of the owners came up to us and yelled that he wasn’t giving away this amount of food to us. My husband told him that we hadn’t been to his place in over three months and that he had provided services to them that was worth way more than the food we’d ordered. It didn’t help that the owner was drunk, but he’d tried to embarrass us in front of other customers. 

We got the food to go and left. Since that guy had made it clear that he didn’t want David’s services, David waited until the month was over and then deleted the restaurant’s website. Then, since he owned the domain name, he sold it to a place over in California who was happy to pay the hefty price tag he’d put on it.

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My husband has been a programmer and web designer since websites made their debut a long time ago, and because he’s a nice guy who likes a good deal himself, he has had a history of charging clients for his website services and consulting work for next to nothing compared to the average going rates. He felt like his cheap prices would give his clients a reason to stay with him. Yet in spite of these good deals, he’s lost many clients over the years.

What’s interesting was that some of those clients left him in favor of companies who did similar work for a big monthly fee. They’d rather pay $1000 a month than to stick with him in exchange for trade or $100 per month or some other ridiculously small fee for his hours and hours of work. After a while, it dawned on me that even though my husband’s services were top-notch, those former clients had not seen their value because he wasn’t charging enough.

 

The whole thing drove me crazy. I knew how hard he worked for his clients — on Sundays, at night, on holidays. What really irritated me was the way he devalued his own work by stating that he was getting “free food” from his restaurant clients. After hearing this for a long time, I told him, “This isn’t free food. This is your payment in exchange for your services. You either get food in exchange, or you invoice them.”

 

Several years ago, a mentor of mine, who is in sales, told me, “People don’t value things they got for free.” At the time, it made no sense to me. But that was before I was married to a man who routinely gave his valuable services away and saw for myself how people tend to devalue the things they got for free — or for a ridiculously good deal. Some clients bend over backwards for us, but others, like that boutique owner, forget that they aren’t paying him when they withhold their payment — in those cases, payment in the form of products— for services rendered.

Why do people tend to devalue services from others that cost them little to nothing?

In many cases, cheap or free = disposable. Those former clients ended up paying serious money for similar web services because they saw the value in those other companies. All other things being equal, the other web design companies let people know that they were worth the investment.

 

In her article Why Free Is Too Expensive, Lisa Larter says, “When your time is free, the other person’s time will always be more important and more valuable than your time.”

 

In a Forbes article, author Selena Rezvani argues that when we say yes to free (or greatly reduced) services, “we say to people that our time, energy, and discretionary effort are worth-less.”

 

Of course, the “people don’t value free or low-cost work” is not an unyielding rule. David does work in trade for restaurant owners who appreciate his work and pay for it in the form of whatever trade they agreed upon when they signed their contract with him. There are always exceptions, and we are grateful for them.

 

One of those exceptional clients is named Jim, who owns an audio-video company. He and David met for lunch a few months ago and talked shop. David asked Jim how he manages to keep his clients. His reply: “I charge a premium, and they pay for it because they value my services.” He explained that his prices, which he has gradually raised over the years, naturally weed out the people who don’t want to pay for his services, so he ends up with quality clients who don’t bat an eye at paying what he charges for his quality services. That really got David’s attention.

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I feel that in order to get others to value your work that you do for them, you must value it yourself. You must value yourself.

 

I have a friend who was so good at his work that his boss started giving him more responsibilities, but after a while, he was doing the work of three people. He went to the boss’ office and pointed this out, and then he asked for a raise to compensate for all this extra work. The boss declined.

 

So he quit.

 

Actually, he gave his two weeks’ notice. He spent those two weeks training his replacement. After his job officially ended, the guy who took his place still needed training, so his former boss called to ask him if he could come back and continue training. He knew that his job had required some serious technical training because he’d held it for 11 years. He knew that he was the only one who could really train the new guy. So he said sure, as long as they paid him $100 an hour for consulting fees.

 

Because he’d excelled at his former job, my friend knew his worth, and that if that company wanted him as a consultant, they were going to pay for it.

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I strongly believe that when you think a certain way, your actions are likely to follow. In order to get out of the “I want to give them a deal so they will continue to be my client” or “I have to take on these extra responsibilities with no additional compensation” mindset, you must actively tell yourself that your time has value. But you also have to already be doing a really good job at what you’re doing.

 

Many people can’t quit like my friend — who was able to quit only because he’d been developing a business in his spare time. If you’re interning for a small paycheck (or no paycheck), you have to put in the required work and gain some experience. If you’re just starting out, it’s probably not a good idea to demand a pay raise or try to charge a premium for your services until you’ve proven yourself. The people I used as examples have been doing their jobs long enough to know what’s fair and what’s not. They are confident in what they do, but they don’t set their sights unrealistically high. There’s a balance, and it can sometimes be hard to know what that is.

 

I’d advise to do what my husband did — he talked to people and researched going prices for the web services he offered, taking into consideration that different regions in the country may charge more or less for the same services, depending on factors such as cost of living. He picked people’s brains. He asked questions to people he considered to be mentors. Through them, he figured out what was realistic and what wasn’t.

 

After he got the information he needed to make an informed decision, he changed his posture for new clients. He now charges the going rates for building and hosting websites, providing backlinks, and doing updates when they’re needed. He also vets potential trade clients to make sure that they understand up front that trade is a form of payment, and that they can change that form of payment to a check if they’d like to retain his services. So far, these methods have worked.

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You are worth the time it takes to climb that hill towards success. Until you define your own worth for your skills, other people are likely to tell you what they think you’re worth. Check your mindset, because your actions will most likely be determined by the way you think about yourself. If you need practice or more experience, that’s okay. Nearly all of us need that.

 

Know. Your. Worth.

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